Friday, May 30, 2008

Battlestar Galactica—Guess What’s Coming To Dinner

Quote of the (previous) week: "I don't really care if you have to spend the night on your knees praying, or just on your knees. I want a name”—President Laura Roslin (Mary McDonnell) to her Chief of Staff Tory Foster (Rekha Sharma) about getting information from Roslin’s political enemy and Foster’s lover Gaius Baltar (James Callis).

Okay, okay we know—we are REALLY fraking late with this review.

The Gods honest truth is that not only has FanBoyWonder been crazy busy but on the night when the episode in question aired, we were called away from the television and missed a critical 10 minutes from the final quarter-hour of the episode.

Having missed the episode’s climax, we couldn’t write up a review without seeing the entire episode but we weren’t worried as we would just catch it on the Sci-Fi website. Except that Sci-Fi took it’s sweet time posting the episode so we only just saw it yesterday.

So better late than never…right? Ok we think it’s crap too…so consider this the recap before the new episode in a few hours. FanBoyWonder promises to get better at turning around these reviews.

The Upshot from Sci-Fi Channel: A new alliance is tested as Galactica agrees to help the Cylon rebels destroy a vital enemy target.

The tension at the start of the episode between Delegate Lee Adama (Jamie Bamber) and President Roslin FEEL artificial even as they each raise valid points. For Adama, it’s about the need for openness in government. For Roslin, it’s the need for secrecy and thus security.

But these seeds of tension planted early in the episode will come to harvest later in the hour.

Meanwhile, the captured Cylon basestar is nearly shot down by Galactica when the coordinated faster than light (FTL) jump with the Demetrius goes FUBAR and the basestar drops into the fleet alone and radio silent.

Fortunately Col. Tigh (Michael Hogan) one of the Final Five secret Cylons orders “Weapons Hold” when his Cylon Spider-Sense starts tingling and the Demetrius jumps back just in time to call off the dogs.

Soon the rebel Cylon leader Natalie Six (Tricia Helfer) meets with President Roslin and Admiral Adama (Edward James Olmos), where she tells them of the Cylon civil war, that the Final Five Cylons are hidden in the human fleet, and that the D'Anna models (Lucy Lawless)—the Cylon model whose consciousness was boxed as punishment straying off the Cylon spiritual reservation has seen faces of the Five and can identify them.

D'Anna's consciousness is stored within the Cylon resurrection hub, a central facility that controls all resurrection ships. Natalie proposes that if the Colonials help the rebel Cylons seize control of the hub and liberate the D'Anna model, D'Anna will identify the Final Five, who, in turn, can reveal the route to Earth.

Why? Because, according to Natalie, the Final Five have been to Earth and can lead everyone there. This, of course is news to two of the secret Final Five Cylons in the room, Col. Tigh and Tory Foster.

With the hub destroyed, ALL Cylons will lose the hope of resurrection. Small loss for Natalie's faction as they can’t go home (or resurrect) again—to do so would be to be boxed—so they are willing is willing to become mortal as the price they must pay to meet the remaining five Cylons.

The rebels and the final five will then depart in peace, leaving the humans to complete their journey to Earth and everyone lives happily after ever, according to Natalie’s proposal. Oh yeah, sorry for killing 99.5 percent of your race. Our bad.

Roslin and Adama accept the deal and both sides instantly start figuring out ways to play the angles to get the upper hand over the other. Trust but verify…AND take hostages.

Meanwhile back at the Secret Cylon meeting house/storage closet, Tigh, Specialist Tyrol (Aaron Douglas), Samuel T. Anders (Michael Trucco) and Tory are shaken as they realize that their secret identities might soon be exposed.

Anders is also preoccupied because Gaeta (Alessandro Juliani), whom he shot during the mutiny aboard the Demetrius, must have his leg amputated. The procedure leaves Gaeta pretty fracked up and discovering his singing voice in the Galactica's infirmary.

And hey, why isn’t Anders in the brig???? He shot and crippled a fellow officer. Yeah it was to put down a mutiny but there are to be no repercussions to this???

In other news, the prophet Gaius Baltar has been sharing with his radio audience about Roslin’s visions of the opera house with the Caprica Six Cylon (Helfer again) and Athena and Hera, the Cylon/human child.

Roslin wants to know how Baltar knows, how leaked this top-secret nugget so she leans on Tory, letting her Chief of Staff know that she knows that Tory has been fraking Baltar.

Roslin demands that Tory find out how Baltar learned about the visions. Rattled, Tory persuades Baltar to admit that Caprica Six told him the secret, communicating through his lawyer.

Oh come on….was she really trying to keep it a secret? Tory has been seen down there by EVERYONE!!!

Back on Colonial One, the Quorum of Twelve already feeling marginalized by Roslin’s growing executive authority nearly revolts when Roslin summarily announces the alliance with the Cylons.

Lee Adama tells Roslin that they Quorum is ready to give her a no-confidence vote and he urges her to honor the Quorum's concerns by discussing the plan with them. Accepting Lee's advice, Roslin and Natalie jointly address the Quorum. The political pressure appears to ease.

Yet plagued by her visions, Roslin takes Baltar and Helo (Tahmoh Penikett) to the basestar to seek answers from the Cylon hybrid.

At the same time, Athena sees that Hera is acting all Children of the Corn creepy by drawing the image of Caprica Six over and over and over again before walking out the open door.

Frantic in the way that a parent looking for a lost child can be, runs all over the ship looking for Hera with visions of the opera house in her head.

Hera is standing in the hall when Natalie, Tigh and a group of Marines make their way to her. Natalie bends down to greet the child and Athena, thinking that Six is going to steal her child (again) shoots her ass—twice.

Cut to the base ship that JUMPS just as soon as the hybrid is plugged back in at the same time that Natalie is shot—taking the President and half of Galactica’s fighter wing with it.

Okay, answer us this—the marine guards cock their guns whenever a Cylon stands or sits or scratches its but—but they all just stand there while Natalie Six kneels down to talk with a child????????

Looks like there’s a bleep storm coming and it looks like Galactica’s fresh out of umbrellas. So say we all.


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